On Monday when I woke up to the news about Vegas, my heart broke. I sat paralyzed for a few minutes, unable to quite process the brutality. I still don’t know how to put my thoughts into words. It is nothing short of pure evil. It’s unfathomable how much hurt people who have been affected are suffering right now. My heart breaks for the people who have lost family members. I mourn with those who are mourning. I ache for the people who will have to deal with years of mental trauma from the event.
Who am I to complain about things like getting stuck behind a train or not having enough sugar put in my coffee or getting a crappy parking spot? What gives me the right to whine when my brothers are just a little too loud in the morning? Because the thing is, there is oxygen in my lungs. I woke up this morning. I have a roof over my head. I have people who love me and want the best for me. I have a loving heavenly Father who delights in my very existence.
In keeping with my hopes to always be authentic and transparent, I will admit that I am guilty of complaining about insignificant things and sweating the small stuff and taking many blessings for granted. I’m extremely guilty of having a bad attitude and being cranky with the people who love me the most. And you know when these things catch up to me the most? When I’m feeling distant from God. When I haven’t spend any time with Him, or when I’ve been so focused on myself rather than serving others, or when I haven’t prayed recently. The closer I draw to God, the better my attitude will be. The more grace-filled I will be. The more I will be able to look at the things that drive me up the wall, and be thankful for them instead of complaining. I’m human, and it’s not possible for me to be perfect or to never ever complain. But I want to be better. I constantly strive to be better. I truly am trying.
I found a quote a couple days ago that now hangs on my mirror so that each morning I’ll read it and be reminded to apply it throughout the day.
“Consider how very fortunate you are. Consider it every day. The more you count your blessings, the more blessings there will be to count.”
Driving to work on Monday, I struggled with holding back the tears as I realized just how short life really is. It is delicate, fragile, able to be completely shattered within the blink of an eye. It is a mist, a vapor, as fleeting as the morning fog. Are we living like we believe this? Do we hold on to the things that will be lost in death, or are we clinging to the things of eternity?
“Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring – what your life will be! For you are like a vapour that appears for a little while, then vanishes.” (James 4:14, CSB)
I pray that those affected by the tragedy in Vegas would feel the presence of the Lord near to them. I pray that they would be able to heal physically, that they would be able to have peace, that they would not suffer night terrors or live their lives in fear. I pray for those who lost everything in the natural disasters that have plagued our earth in the last few months. I pray that we, the unaffected, would not take our days for granted. I pray that we would enter this season of Thanksgiving with grateful hearts. I pray that we will always write our troubles in the sand, and our blessings in the rock.